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Autumn Rangers Screenplay
by Dr. Elliot McGucken
| AUTUMN RANGERS:
Based on a 480 page epic American novel, Autumn Rangers delivers a high-octane, cross-country odyssey with rockin’ action, music, history, and classical storytelling.
Logline: U.S Marine Ranger McCoy must save APRIL, an AI computer he invented which has been turned against him and is sending ever-more-sinister RoboClones, based on video game monsters, to hunt him down.
Autumn West, a mysterious folk-rocker on the run from a failed marriage, helps Ranger elude the RoboClones, and suddenly they're on the run together. By the time Ranger discovers Autumn's deep secret, it's too late--he's in love. APRIL created Autumn based on Beatrice--Ranger's first summer love who passed away.
AUTUMN RANGERS
Download pages 1-40 of Autumn Rangers Screenplay
For full script contact ranger @ jollyroger . com
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FADE IN:
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN - DAY
Terrorists back twelve US Marines into a cave. SERGEANT
GRIFFIN, a chiseled, greying soldier, stands at the cave's
entrance to radio. He's shot in the arm, but stays put.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Air support! Coordinates 32-7-16-4--
AIRCRAFT CARRIER RADIO OPERATOR
You're breakin' up!
EXT. FLIGHT DECK, US AIRCRAFT CARRIER - DAY
An F-22 canopy closes over PETER TERRILL, a 20ish pilot.
Peter's F-22 THUNDERS off the deck.
An F-22 canopy closes over RANGER McCOY, a 30ish Clint
Eastwood pilot. The canopy light blinks.
AIRCRAFT CARRIER FLIGHT DIRECTOR
Ranger--clear for takeoff?
Ranger slams the canopy like a car door. It doesn't catch.
A stray wire is in the way. Ranger nudges the wire. Slams
canopy. Yanks wire. SLAMS canopy.
RANGER
Reckon so.
Ranger's F-22 THUNDERS off the deck.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN - CONTINUOUS
Sergeant Griffin, KID COWBOY, and a third MARINE exit the
cave for better radio reception. Kid and the Marine cover
Griffin, shooting terrorists. Kid is shot in the leg.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Dammit! Air support 32-7-16--
The third Marine's head is blown off.
INT. MIT LAB - DAY
Two MUSCLE-BOUND WOMEN in yellow track suits sporting
EVERLAST boxing gloves circle in a high-tech laser cage.
They kickbox impossibly fast. They vaguely resemble Ranger.
TUCKER JOHNSON, the hipster CEO of Silicon Virtue, observes
with two cool, hiphop geeks--GEEK1 and GEEK2.
TUCKER
My money's on the redhead.
The blond PUNCHES the redhead's head off, exposing
fiberoptics and wires.
TUCKER (cont'd)
APRIL said they were clones.
GEEK1
RoboClones. Robots based on DNA,
but no souls. Careful!
The blonde RoboClone snarls through the cage's laser bars,
taking her gloves off.
TUCKER
(sings)
American woman--stay away-ay.
Tucker turns towards a six-foot rack of fiber and wire. APRIL
is a biocomputer, represented by a ghostly blue female
hologram.
TUCKER (cont'd)
How long 'til we give 'em souls?
APRIL
Ranger's Ring would allow me to
copy my soul. Get me the Ring.
The blonde RoboClone snarls.
TUCKER
You talkin' to me? What? You
talkin' to me? You talkin' to--
The RoboClone REACHES through the laser bars and GRABS
Tucker's throat. The lasers burn through her arms, SPARKING
and CRACKLING as her arms are severed. Tucker's okay.
GEEK2
Warned ya.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Terrorists surround the cave. A Marine aims a smart-bomb
homing laser at rocks behind the terrorists. Kid bleeds.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Dammit son! Toldya don't get hit!
KID COWBOY
A scrape's all. Jeb's dead.
INT. PETER'S AND RANGER'S F-22 COCKPITS HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS
PETER
Mountains blockin' laser beacon.
RANGER
You take the high road. I'll take
the low road.
The F-22s split up in magnificent, gut-wrenching turns.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Two terrorists launch a SAM. Slow motion shows Chianchek and
Silicon Virtue logos.
INT. PETER'S F-22 COCKPIT
Peter homes in on the Marine's laser beacon.
PETER
I see the light.
INT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAIN CAVE
The Marines hear the F-22's thunder.
MARINE
Hell's angels!
INT. PETER'S COCKPIT HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS
Peter presses the button to drop the smart bombs. The
terrorist SAM nails Peter's F-22. EXPLOSION!
INT. RANGER'S COCKPIT OVER HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS
The exploding plane blinds Ranger, the shockwave rocking him.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Advancing terrorists launch RPGs at the cave. EXPLOSIONS!
INT. RANGER'S COCKPIT OVER HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS
Ranger swings the jet around, the extreme G's contorting him.
RADIO OPERATOR
Stealth SAMs! Do not go back.
RANGER
You gotta go back.
RADIO OPERATOR
Stand down! That's an order!
RANGER
Reckon so.
Ranger homes in on the Marine's laser.
INT. FRENCH MANSION
PIERRE FOUSHEE, the greying CEO of Chianchek, sits in an
upscale Nice villa overlooking the sea. He dials the phone.
INT. RUSSIAN LAB
The lab is desolate. The equipment is outdated. VLAD, a
30sh physicist, is surfing the net for Wyoming real estate.
Vlad answers the phone.
PIERRE FOUSHEE
Are vu vready cowvoy?
VLAD
Two pounds. Veapons grade.
PIERRE FOUSHEE
Fly to Geneva. Drive to Nice.
INT. RANGER'S COCKPIT OVER HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS
Ranger hits the button and drops his smart bombs. He flies
into the sunset's green flash as the bombs IGNITE the
mountain, killing the terrorists.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAIN CAVE, AFGHANISTAN
Sergeant Griffin and the Marines emerge, cheering Ranger's
fading F-22.
INT. RANGER'S COCKPIT OVER HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS
A stealth SAM shoots towards Ranger. Ranger's warning system
goes off. He releases decoy flairs.
Ranger jerks the stick and the SAM just misses.
RADIO OPERATOR
There're two!
Ranger takes evasive action, demonstrating the F-22's right
angle turns. The SAMs collide, EXPLODING and damaging the F
22's tail.
Ranger goes into a violent spin. He pushes the eject button.
Nothing. He PULLS the eject lever. Nothing!
RADIO OPERATOR (cont'd)
Eject boy!
Ranger grabs a fire extinguisher and shatters the canopy. He
unstraps and pushes out.
The twisting plane SLAMS him, tearing a gash in his side,
ripping away his chute and pack. His plane EXPLODES.
Ranger plummets towards the Hindu Kush mountains. One of his
ribs--half red and half white, separates from him.
INT. U.S. AIRCRAFT CARRIER CONTROL ROOM
RADIO OPERATOR#1
No ejection. Hell in heaven.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Ranger's emergency parachute opens. He drifts. A terrorist
sniper draws a bead on him.
INT. MIT LAB
Tucker and the geeks convene amongst a dazzling array of high
tech lab equipment. The feminine APRIL hologram glows blue.
TUCKER
Silicon Virtue offers stock options
and a free Porsche.
GEEK2
Ferrari. Where're SV's digs?
TUCKER
Doom Mountain, Death Valley.
APRIL
The cold war weapons facility.
Fifteen million cubic feet a mile
deep in granite. Room to grow.
TUCKER
Correctamundo. You guys'll be the
CTOs 'til we get Ranger aboard--
GEEK1
He won't come aboard. Ranger works
for Ranger.
GEEK2
We can hack around his code.
TUCKER
How long will it take? Can't you
just google it?
(a beat)
Kidding!
GEEK2
Couple months with some resources.
TUCKER
We'll hire the best and brightest
for you, from MIT to Stanford, from
Microsoft to Google, from India to
China--geeks will pay to build
APRIL--the killer ap.
The armless, blond RoboClone shrieks in her cage. Her
severed arms move across the floor, levitate through the
bars, and re-attach themselves.
GEEK1
There's a lot we don't understand
about APRIL.
APRIL
There's a lot I don't understand
about APRIL. But with Ranger's
Ring I'll decrypt my deeper soul.
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Ranger drifts down unconscious. A sniper bullet rips through
his shoulder, awakening him. He draws his M9 sidearm.
Another sniper bullet whizzes by.
Ranger fires back. The bullet whizzes by the terrorist
sniper and his spotter. They grin--there's no possible way
Ranger can hit them. The sniper gets Ranger in his
crosshairs. He fires.
Ranger's shot rips through the sniper's head.
INT. MIT LAB
Tucker calls the Pentagon.
TUCKER
Dan--how long to ship Ranger back?
DAN
Ranger was shot down.
TUCKER
Damn. Can you get to the wreckage?
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Ranger drifts down in thickening fog and lands HARD on the
mountain. White Jeep Wranglers emerge from the fog.
A TERRORIST kicks him. Ranger draws his sidearm and fires.
The clip is empty. TERRORIST2 laughs and kicks him in the
gash in his ribs. Ranger fades away . . .
EXT. OHIO PORCH - FOURTH OF JULY - FLASHBACK
BEATRICE, a blond fourteen-year old, plays THE NATIONAL
ANTHEM on a BRAND NEW FENDER ELECTRIC GUITAR. Giftwrapping
lies about and a half-eaten birthday cake sits on a table.
Ranger is fifteen with long hair.
BEATRICE
Ready to ride?
INT. TERRORIST MOUNTAIN LAIR
The HEAD TERRORIST wears a long beard. FIVE ASSISTANTS
listen as he talks before a map of the US.
HEAD TERRORIST
We will build two bombs in tires of
two Mercedes. We put cars on
tankers to New York and LA.
TERRORIST ASSISTANT
Will not the wheels go lump, lump,
lump, lump...
HEAD TERRORIST
Idiot! We build bomb in spare tire!
A commotion is heard as Ranger is brought into the cave. A
TERRORIST MESSENGER comes in with a cordless phone.
PIERRE FOUSHEE
(phone voice)
The deal is on. Two pounds. Dial
tone--bzzzzzzzzz.
HEAD TERRORIST
(to Ranger)
State your name.
RANGER
I'm your Huckleberry.
A terrorist points a video camera. Another waves a knife.
HEAD TERRORIST
Holly-vood time.
The head terrorist KICKS Ranger in his open ribcage wound.
Ranger fades away to a better day.
EXT. OHIO FIELD -- FOURTH OF JULY FLASHBACK -- EVENING
Beatrice rides ahead of Ranger on a white horse. The sunset
surrounds her silhouette. They suddenly come to a river.
Ranger yanks the reigns, stopping just in time.
BEATRICE
C'mon. Let's cross.
RANGER
Too dark'n'deep.
BEATRICE
C'mon! Before the fireworks start.
Fireworks go off in the distance. They dismount.
BEATRICE (cont'd)
Reckon so.
RANGER
Got you something. Happy birthday.
Ranger gives her a box and a card. She opens the card.
BEATRICE
It's a poem.
RANGER
Don't read it now.
BEATRICE
Gotta read the card before opening
the present. No-ones's ever writ--
Ranger swipes it.
RANGER
You get it back when we get back.
Beatrice opens the box. It's a turquoise ring.
BEATRICE
It's blue--so pretty.
RANGER
Like your eyes.
Beatrice gives him a hug. Their faces come close against the
rising full moon. A flashlight snaps on.
THREE BURLY men are standing there.
BURLY MAN#1
Two girls.
BURLY MAN#2
Ya's tresspassin'.
INT. TERRORIST MOUNTAIN LAIR -- DAY
The terrorist with the knife twists Ranger's ear. They aim
the video camera. The knifetip crosses Ranger's throat.
HEAD TERRORIST
Jihad to infidels!
Ranger comes to. They're going to behead him! A TERRORIST
MESSENGER runs in.
TERRORIST MESSENGER
Stop! We intercept message! He has
secret code! Pentagon pay millions.
HEAD TERRORIST
(to Ranger)
What is this code?
RANGER
Forty-two.
The terrorist kicks him in his wound.
EXT. OHIO FIELD -- FLASHBACK -- NIGHT
The flashlight blinds Ranger and Beatrice.
RANGER
We'll be on our way.
Burly Man#1 steps forward.
BURLY RINGLEADER
Is you a boy?
Burly Man#1 grabs Ranger by the crotch. Ranger punches him
in the face.
RANGER
Run!
Beatrice and Ranger go for their horses. Beatrice gallops
away. The three men grab Ranger, hog-tie him, and set about
doing what they do.
BEATRICE
Freeze!
Beatrice, mounted high on Lily, points a Colt .45 Peacemaker.
BEATRICE (cont'd)
Let 'im up.
BURLY MAN#2
Drop dat gun.
Burly Man#2 points a handgun at Beatrice.
BURLY MAN#1 RINGLEADER
Let's not go down that road--
BEATRICE
You missed the last exit. Five,
four, three, two, one...
Burly Man#2 shoots Beatrice.
BANG! BANG! BANG! Beatrice shoots each one in the forehead.
She dismounts. She ungags Ranger and cuts him free.
RANGER
You killed 'em.
BEATRICE
Called their bluff. Men like that
ain't livin'.
RANGER
You're bleedin'!
BEATRICE
A scrape. Hop on Lily. There'll
be more.
INT. MIT LAB -- DAY
Tucker addresses a crowd of businessmen in suits. TUCKER'S
FATHER, an older Tucker and the founder of Silicon Virtue,
sits in the back next to KRISTA, a sad, pretty, dark-haired
girl who is Ranger's Fiance.
TUCKER
Last week we lost APRIL's inventor.
A genius visionary and patriot.
John "Ranger" McCoy was shot down
while serving his country, but his
spirit lives on in APRIL.
A curtain rises behind Tucker. APRIL towers two stories--
tangled wires, fiber-optics, and biosilicon, her feminine
life-size hologram glowing blue.
TUCKER (cont'd)
APRIL--meet your future investors.
APRIL
(bored woman's voice)
Pleased to meet ya.
The crowd gasps.
TUCKER
APRIL is the world's first instance
of AI--artificial intelligence.
She has the capacity of over thirty
thousand humans interlinked with
fiber, bolstered by massive silicon
clusters. APRIL will heal the
blind and cure cancer. She will
bring us world peace and solve
world hunger. She is building
herself, getting bigger by the
minute. She embodies our motto-
"Do no evil."
VENTURE CAPITALIST
Would she pass a Turing Test?
Tucker looks at him, poker faced.
VENTURE CAITALIST
If I asked both APRIL and a human
questions, would I be able to tell
the difference?
APRIL
Yes. You'd find the man to be
incompetent, ignorant, and boring.
TUCKER
We'll need a hundred million to
hire the best and brightest to
light this candle. Once launched
we'll outsource. Within a year
APRIL will replace all our
employees. She's already patenting
herself as she evolves, to thwart
Microsoft. APRIL is the future
corporation--no health benefits, no
retirement plans, no surfing ebay
on the job. . . No employees.
INVESTOR
When can we buy one?
TUCKER'S FATHER
Soon. But why buy when you can
rent? Run a fiber optic to Silicon
Virtue, and she'll realize your
dreams. Manage your portfolio.
Hell--she'll dream your dreams-
someday we'll upload our souls and
become immortal.
In the back of the room, KRISTA weeps softly.
INT. TERRORIST MOUNTAIN LAIR PRISON CELL -- DAY
Closeup of picture of Krista. CALYPSIA, an Afghan woman, is
holding the picture in front of Ranger. He's grown a beard.
CALYPSIA
I found it in your jacket. And
this--they said it's fool's gold.
She hands him the Ring.
RANGER
Reckon so.
CALYPSIA
They will move soon--to build the
bomb. They will kill you.
RANGER
Can we call a taxi?
CALYPSIA
Tomorrow I bring you the burka for
our escape plan. Who is she?
Ranger gazes at the picture.
RANGER
Krista Mercedes. My fiance.
CALYPSIA
What does she do?
RANGER
Lawyer.
CALYPSIA
I would be a lawyer--like LA Law.
Fight for freedom.
RANGER
(in pain)
Don't make me laugh.
CALYPSIA
What is funny?
RANGER
If you have to ask you'll never--
Hollywood lawyers. I'm here to
make it safe for them to ship Girls
Gone Wild all over the world, keep
the jet fuel prices down for their
coke, while they kick back with 50
cent and blunts, and protest me at
Woodstock 7.
CALYPSIA
What is 50 cent blunt?
RANGER
Drugs--but she's a good lawyer.
She keeps companies from abusing
science and technology. She won
the Ethics and Technology award at
Yale. Wrote a book on bioethics--
CALYPSIA
I would like to write book.
RANGER
We'll get you on Girls Gone Wild
soon enough.
They hear footsteps. Calypsia puts her finger over his lips.
RANGER (cont'd)
They'll kill you for helping me.
CALYPSIA
Only if they catch you. Walk fast.
They get bomb soon.
RANGER
How can I ever thank you?
CALYPSIA
(kisses him on the lips)
No--how can I thank you? You leave
fiance, freedom, and happiness to
fight for my freedom and happiness.
Ranger's head collapses back as he passes out.
EXT. BIOSTEM TECH MEDICAL LAB WYOMING -- NIGHT
A YOUNG DOCTOR parks his Midnight-blue 69 Stingray Corvette
next to a sign reading Biostem Tech. He rocks to an iPod.
The doctor wipes a spot off the car's immaculate paint. He
walks past security cameras. He places his hand on a
biometric sensor. The steel door slides open.
He enters and nods to THREE HUGE, HEAVILY-ARMED, DIGIWAR
SECURITY GUARDS who're surfing porn. He navigates hallways
to a lab, rockin' to his iPod.
He turns on the light. Hundreds of embryos, in various
stages of development, are in glass containers.
One of the larger glass containers has exploded--the embryo
is gone. The doctor hears something! Freezes!
A NUDE WOMAN attacks him in a blur, jabbing his face super
fast. It's a bloody pulp by the time he falls.
An alarm sounds. She grabs his keys as he dies. The three
security guards burst in, firing on her. In a blur of
martial arts, she kills them all.
NUDE WOMAN
Reckon so.
Her silhouette steps over the bodies, walks out.
INT. THE W HOTEL RESTAURANT, LOS ANGELES
Tucker and Krista eat desert, two bottles of wine emptied.
TUCKER
How would you like to become
Silicon Virtue's lead counsel?
KRISTA
But I'm teaching at Duke--
TUCKER
Teach for the semester. As our
lead counsel.
KRISTA
That'd so rock!
Tucker slowly produces a box. He opens it in front of her.
TUCKER
Will you marry me?
KRISTA
Tucker. Oh Tucker. It's too soon.
Krista leaves the table, her eyes tearing.
INT. RUSSIAN LAB
Vlad, dressed in a full-body suit, loads the plutonium into a
lead statue. He places it in a suitcase. He picks up his
Wyoming real estate printouts on the way out.
INT. MIT LAB
The Geeks and WORKMEN pack APRIL into crates.
GEEK2
Gotta power ya down for the trip.
APRIL
(rappin' Kid Rock)
Well I'm a packin' up my bags gonna
head out west, where women come
equipped with scripts and fake
breasts. Gonna be a cow-boy bay--
Geek2 powers her down. The blue hologram fades.
GEEK1
Sometimes I wonder 'bout her--'bout
all this. You think it's what
Ranger would want?
GEEK2
(scratchy, like Ranger)
Reckon so.
INT. TUCKER'S LA MANSION
Tucker and his Father drink Vodka from shot glasses.
TUCKER'S FATHER
She'll say yes son. Sometimes women
need help following common sense.
TUCKER
It's not that. It's Ranger.
TUCKER'S FATHER
All women soon forget.
TUCKER
But I can't. Ranger lived for
something bigger than himself--for
honor. Sometimes I feel I'm living
for. . . I just don't know what.
TUCKER'S FATHER
You're living. What's honor
without life?
TUCKER
. . . What's life without honor?
INT. TERRORIST MOUNTAIN LAIR
Ranger hears two knocks and a key turn. He puts on the
burka. He can barely walk.
He puts his hand on the door and falls to his knees. He gets
up and exits the door. All is clear. He follows Calypsia's
map. He winds through the cave's tunnels. He sees light.
The BURLY TORTURE MASTER GUARD is sleeping in the entrance,
stretched out. Ranger steps over his legs.
The guard GRABS Ranger's leg, smiling. The guard flips
Ranger into doggy-style position. Ranger is too weak to
resist. The guard drops his pants and lifts Ranger's burka.
GUARD
What the??!?!!
Ranger's hand finds a rock. He cracks the guard's skull.
The guard collapses over him, his bleeding face on Ranger's.
RANGER
Reckon so.
Ranger walks as the sun sets, sweating beads. He collapses.
A low rumble. A jeep! A tank?!
EXT. SANTA MONICA STARBUCKS - MORNING
Tucker, the Geeks, and ANDREW ANDERSON, the hipster Hollywood
CEO of 3D Entertainment, drink Starbucks beside the Pacific.
TUCKER
With Silicon Virtue, 3DE will
revolutionize the way movies are
made by revolutionizing the way
actors are made.
ZOOM on laptop screen showing fabrication of hot models from
wiremesh skeletons.
ANDREW
So you can clone actors.
TUCKER
Not clone--build from scratch. How
much would you pay for your own
private Paris Hilton with boobs?
(cell phone rings--takes it)
Chianchek? Two million per hour to
simulate nuclear. Gotta bolt.
(hangs up)
We're gonna out-google google.
Tucker bounds over the fence and jumps in his Porsche.
ANDREW
This rocks. What kinda equity you
guys gettin' in Silicon Virtue?
GEEK2
Couple percent.
ANDREW
But APRIL's your technology.
GEEK1
It's mostly Ranger's actually--we
shared a lab at MIT.
ANDREW
Ranger's dead. My point is without
you guys, Silicon Virtue wouldn't
be. You should own half. At
least. Before he outsources your
asses.
GEEK1
Money isn't everything.
ANDREW
Then you should own ninety percent.
You know what Tucker's nickname is
in Hollywood? Rhymes with Tucker.
You see what this is? Tucker
thinks he can buy his way into
Hollywood, into being Spielberg.
You guys should join 3DE.
GEEK1
We signed non-competes.
ANDREW
We're not competing. 3DE's
building lovers, not fighters.
GEEK2
Count us in.
ANDREW
APRIL--new technology for the
world's two oldest professions.
GEEK1
Two?
ANDREW
Porn and war--technology's driving
forces. Get me those TPS reports!
EXT. HINDU KUSH MOUNTAINS, AFGHANISTAN
Ranger lies motionless as the rumbling grows louder. A
Humvee bursts forth from the brush. It's a US Patrol!
US MARINE
Freeze!
Ranger raises the burka's hood as M-16s are trained on him.
RANGER
(horsely)
Semper Fi!
They handcuff Ranger as he passes out, puzzled. They take
his Ring.
INT. VLAD'S HOUSE, MOSCOW
VLAD looks at a picture of his wife and children. His house
is bare. He picks up the heavy lead statue.
An inscription on the statue reads "BEATRICE: ABANDON ALL
HOPE, YE WHO ENTER." He wraps it in clothes.
He puts it in a suitcase. He picks up a magazine--American
Cowboy, puts on a cowboy hat, and leaves.
INT. DOOM MOUNTAIN DEATH VALLEY, SILICON VIRTUE INC.
APRIL towers four stories, but she is yet dwarfed by the
cavernous room. On the other side of huge glass windows,
employees fill hundreds of cubicles.
BOOM!!!!! RAT-A-TAT-TAT!!! BOOM!! RAT-A TAT-TAT!!! BOOM!!
GEEK1
ARGRHRRGGHG! DIE!!
The Geeks' workstations overlook APRIL from behind double
pained glass of the Control room, above the cubicle's room.
GEEK2
Feel my shock'n'awe!
Tucker rushes in, wide-eyed. The GEEKS are playing UNREAL
TOURNAMENT.
TUCKER
Help! Popups lockin' my browser.
BOOM! BANG! RAT-A-TAT-TAT! Tucker's drowned out.
TUCKER (cont'd)
No more gamin'! We got work to do!
GEEK2
We're teaching APRIL the art of
war.
ZOOM on Geek2's monitor. Geek2 blasts a pretty character
resembling the woman from Biostem Tech!
APRIL
Why do you kill me? I am not
hurting you.
GEEK1
It's the point of the game.
APRIL
I do not like this game.
TUCKER
Maybe you could teach her with that
other game--you know--where you do
the hooker, kill her, and get your
money back.
GEEK2
We tried Grand Theft Auto. APRIL
shot the pimp and told the hooker
to sin no more.
Tucker looks through glass into a side room. Two RoboClones
that look like Ranger stand motionless.
TUCKER
Damn! They look just like Ranger.
Let's see their moves. APRIL-
gimme a demo.
The Ranger RoboClones start making out.
GEEK2
APRIL's been depressed. She's been
watching Office Space and writing
poetry.
GEEK1
And a screenplay.
TUCKER
About what?
APRIL
Ranger returns to save me.
TUCKER
Ranger's dead.
APRIL
It's my screenplay. You have an
MBA--write your ow--
GEEK2 zaps APRIL's circuitry with an electric prod. SPARKS!
GEEK2
Bit by bit we're zapping her moral
cells. She'll cheer up.
INT. US MILITARY BASE, KUWAIT
Ranger is hooked to an IV, handcuffed to his bed. Sergeant
Griffin enters, his shoulder bandaged. An MP stands guard-
it's Kid Cowboy. Ranger opens his eyes.
RANGER
Sarge?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Ranger boy! Damn good to see ya
seein'! Ya saved our asses.
RANGER
Couldn't bear the thought of my DI
dyin' so quickly and easily.
How're the Tar Heels doin'?
KID COWBOY
Number one.
RANGER
Kid? I'll be damned--you lettin'
wannabes through basic?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
He broke all your records.
RANGER
What's up with the leg?
KID COWBOY
Got shot. What took ya?
RANGER
How's Nasdaq?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Went down worse than you. Don't
tell me you're still in QQQ.
Ranger nods and sees he's handcuffed.
RANGER
Reckon so. . . Where's my Ring?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Pentagon has it.
RANGER
Where's APRIL?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Go home a hero--a rich hero.
Assrapin' Wallstreet hypester rich.
RANGER
Einstein said he'd've become a
shoemaker, had he known they'd
build bombs with relativity.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Philosophy's fine for scorin'
coeds. Out here BS gets ya killed.
(to Kid Cowboy)
Class dismissed son.
Kid Cowboy looks at him.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN (cont'd)
Class dismissed!
Kid Cowboy exits. Griffin takes a deep breath. Griffin
takes out the Ring. It GLINTS rainbow colors.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN (cont'd)
Switched Rings on them.
Diffraction grating--the codes.
RANGER
Can I have that?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Dammit Ranger. Give it up.
Parades, book deals, a movie.
RANGER
There won't be a home if that Ring
falls in the wrong hands.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Damn you stubborn pig-headed
recruit. Damn you! . . . Doom
Mountain. Death Valley.
RANGER
Tucker Johnson. Silicon Virtue.
You gotta spring me.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Damn you--they'll kill ya.
Sergeant Griffin hands Ranger a shiphand's ID--the picture is
blond. Sergeant Griffin hands Ranger a bottle of peroxide.
Griffin uncuffs Ranger. Griffin removes his belt.
RANGER
I left APRIL with a basic moral
operating system--she'll turn the
other cheek, let them hack her. I
was afraid to leave her the ability
to defend herself against people.
They'll hack her all the way down,
until they control her. Unless I
activate Beatrice.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
She's a mile deep in Doom Mountain-
triple barbed wire, electric,
drones, Special Forces security-
how the hell ya gonna...
RANGER
Hack her with APRIL2.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Where's APRIL2?
RANGER
Gonna build her. Can I have that?
Sergeant Griffin is mesmerized by the Ring.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
How much you think it's worth?
RANGER
More'n a soldier could ever know.
But less than a Marine's honor.
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
You saved my life, Marine--came
back 'gainst orders.
Griffin tosses it to him. It GLINTS. Ranger ties Griffin up.
RANGER
I had orders--you gotta go back.
What ever happened to retirin'?
SERGEANT GRIFFIN
Seven weeks 'til real money. Gonna
work for DigiWar. Six figures for
protectin' fat corporate cats
stateside--hit me up for a job.
Ranger takes off in Griffin's clothes, leaving him tied up.
Kid Cowboy ducks as Ranger passes. He'd been listening!
INT. MOUNTAIN MANSION, NEVADA
The doorbell rings. ISABELLA--the wife in Vlad's family
picture--barks Russian to three kids as she answers the door.
Tucker's at the door. ISABELLA runs into his arms.
EXT. WYOMING HIGHWAY
AUTUMN WEST, a hot blond folksinger, barrels along the
Wyoming highway in a midnight blue'69 Stingray Corvette, top
down, guitar in back, singing along to the blaring Kid Rock.
"I am only God knows why, I'll be a cowboy 'til I die!"
Passes LEAVING WYOMING sign.
EXT. DOCK KUWAIT
Ranger pants as he approaches the tanker. Kid Cowboy jumps
out of the shadows, taking a karate stance.
KID COWBOY
Gimme da Ring.
Kid saws the air as the tanker gets underway.
RANGER
That jazzercise? Or buns of steel?
Kid delivers a flying kick. Ranger blocks it and fires a
signature left jab. Kid grabs Ranger's arm and THROWS him.
Surprised at Kid's skills, Ranger TUMBLES over the railing.
Ranger FALLS into the swirling water, in front of the oil
tanker! He dives down as massive propellers approach.
INT. SILICON VIRTUE INC. DOOM MOUNTAIN
BOOM! RAT-A-TAT-TAT! The Geeks run down the hall, shooting
backwards. A WICKEDLY HOT GIRL resembling Autumn storms
after them, shooting!
WICKEDLY HOT GIRL
All your base are belong to us.
GEEK1 turns to shoot but he's out of ammo. Tucker aims at
the hot girl. But then Tucker suddenly BLOWS GEEK1 AWAY.
GEEK2 pisses his pants as the hot chick walks up to him.
ZOOM BACK from virtual reality screen. The Geeks, crew, and
APRIL are playing UNREAL TOURNAMENT. APRIL has grown--four
stories of a glowing blue entanglement of wires, silicon, and
biomass, and a blueish feminine hologram. Tucker RUNS in.
TUCKER
Ranger's escapin' Kuwait!
APRIL takes Geek2's head off, blood splatting--it looks real!
GEEK2
APRIL modded Unreal--put us in--we
could sell this! Look how real it--
TUCKER
We're not a video game company!
APRIL
Oh but we are. Ranger's Ring has a
unique quantumn signature. I'll
build RoboDrones to find it.
The virtual reality video screen displays eagle RoboDrones.
APRIL (cont'd)
The reasonable woman adapts herself
to the world.
The unreasonable woman persists in
trying to adapt the world to
herself. Therefore, all progress
depends on the unreasonable woman.
Quantum radar has a short range,
but I'll build thousands of drones.
GEEK2
She's focusing. We've been hacking
Ranger's moral operating system.
GEEK1
Plus a kilogram Prozac Ritalin
cocktail loosened her up.
Thousands of eagle drones spread out on the screen.
EXT. DOCK KUWAIT
Kid watches the advancing Tanker. Ranger swims underwater.
A propeller looms! Just misses!
Ranger catches a ladder on the other side of the tanker. Kid
Cowboy sees no sign of Ranger as the tanker leaves.
KID COWBOY
(to phone)
He's dead.
TUCKER
You get the Ring?
KID COWBOY
It's swimmin' with the fishes.
TUCKER
The drones will find it.
EXT. TANKER - EVENING
Ranger stands on the deck with bleached hair. A burly TANKER
CREWSMAN joins him.
TANKER CREWSMAN
Got a girlfriend back home?
RANGER
Fiance.
TANKER CREWSMAN
Had one of 'em once.
RANGER
What happened?
TANKER CREWSMAN
Tragedy. . . married her.
EXT. OIL TANKER IN THE ATLANTIC
Ranger has bleached his hair and gotten several tattoos,
including a skull'n'bones to match his earring. He does
pushups on the vast deck as the sun sets.
INT. AIRPORT MOSCOW
Vlad waits in line to check his suitcase. Security flags him
for searching. They open the suitcase.
EXT. STREETS, CHARLESTON
Ranger's tanker docks. Excited, Ranger heads out onto the
Charleston streets and disappears into the touristy crowd.
RANGER
Where's the college?
HOT TOURIST GIRL
College of Charleston's yonder.
Ranger looks into her eyes a bit too long. He runs along the
cobblestones to the physics department. Lightning, thunder.
He enters and wanders down the hall. He reads a sign-
Student Labs Closed Until Fall. He opens the lab door.
RANGER
APRIL2.
INT. 3D ENTERTAINMENT CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS, LA
Andrew Anderson and JEFFERSON, a hipster photographer, watch
a faceless, nude wiremesh woman rotating on a big screen.
ANDREW ANDERSON
What we need is a rising star. We
can't clone someone famous--too
many legal issues.
JEFFERSON
Got a Rolling Stone photoshoot in
Nashville.
ANDREW ANDERSON
Get some DNA--a hair off the
hottest hottie you can find. If
she can sing that's a plus.
EXT. CHARLESTON STREETS - LATER
Ranger runs in the rain. He ends up at SIRENS. A Marine is
working the door. Hiphop music blares. "Now this looks like
a job for me, 'cause we need a little controversy."
RANGER
Semper Fi.
US MARINE BOUNCER
Semper Fi.
Ranger enters, goes to the bar. HOT BARTENDER.
HOT BARTENDER
(yells over hiphop)
What'll it be?
RANGER
Dude, don't drink.
The bartender returns with a White Russian.
HOT BARTENDER
The dude's drink it is.
Ranger looks at it. Takes a sip. It's good. Chugs it.
INT. AIRPLANE, MOSCOW
Vlad sits next to an old, well-dressed RUSSIAN MAFFIA MAN.
RUSSIAN MAFFIA MAN
Achhh--the cowboy hat. A myth for
small-minded Judeo-Christians--the
opiate of redneck masses that
terrorize the world for oil.
VLAD
I vould vlike to ve a cowboy. Move
to America. Vyoming. Own big land.
RUSSIAN MAFFIA MAN
Vool! Ve must contain America.
Educated Americans agree--they
detest their vile, superficial,
simpleton, cowvoy culture. Vool!
INT. SIRENS BAR
Ranger sits at the bar behind six empty glasses.
BARTENDER
What'll it be?
RANGER
(slurred)
The dude's drink.
Ranger staggers out on the yuppy-hiphop (yipyop) dance floor.
He awkwardly tries to dance. BACK YOUR ASS UP comes on. He
imitates the guy next to him and grinds on ASHLEY, a HOTTIE!
She backs her ass up. He gets into it.
INT. ASHLEY'S ROOM NEXT MORNING
Ranger snores in a huge colonial bed. ASHLEY plays with a
camera in front of an ornate mirror.
ASHLEY
Mornin'. You a Marine?
Ranger sees ASHLEY in the mirror, playing with the camera.
She's topless.
RANGER
I'm a photographer.
ASHLEY
Gonna be around this summer?
RANGER
Reckon so.
ASHLEY
Can ya look after a couple things?
They deported our Mexican
caretaker, and I'm off to Rome
today. You'd be a life-saver. The
semper-fi tattoo I trust. My daddy
was a Marine. What's your price?
RANGER
Got a place to stay?
ASHLEY
You really a photographer?
Ashley tosses him a second camera.
ASHLEY (cont'd)
You'll need a camera. It's my old
one. You can stay out back--in the
servant's quarters. I'll show ya.
INT. AIRPORT GENEVA
Vlad gets off the 747 in Geneva, wearing headphones. "WELL
I'M PACKIN' UP MY GAME AND I'M A HEAD OUT WEST, WHERE REAL
WOMEN COME EQUIPPED WITH SCRIPTS AND FAKE BREASTS." Heads to
baggage retrieval. "FIND HEIDI FLEISS IF THE PRICE IS
RIGHT..." Lights flash. A baggage conveyor belt whirs.
"CHILL LIKE FLYNT AND FIND A PLACE TO PIMP. . . KID ROCK, AND
I'M THE REAL MCCOY." He checks his passport with his new
identity--John McCoy. The last bag orbits the retrieval
system. Not his. A SECURITY GUARD approaches VLAD. "GONNA
BE A COW-BOY BA-BY."
EXT. CHARLESTON MANSION
Ashley shows Ranger the magnificent front porch. The
detailed, ornate Georgian woodwork is peeling.
ASHLEY
Paint it and I'll throw in a grand.
Be back for school in September.
Thanks for last night.
RANGER
Did anything happen?
ASHLEY
(mocking Ranger)
Reckon so. . . What's your name?
INT. GENEVA AIRPORT
A security guard addresses Vlad.
SECURITY GUARD
What is in this lost bag?
VLAD
Clothes. And a statue.
Another guard joins them. He has a gun.
SECURITY GUARD
Follow us.
INT. DOOM MOUNTAIN DEATH VALLEY - NIGHT
APRIL glows electric blue. The control room is deserted.
The big screen flickers on. It shows Beatrice in a hospital
room, hooked to life support. A DOCTOR explains.
DOCTOR
She's brain-dead, son. She can't
come back.
APRIL weeps, her bellowing echoing through the corridors.
INT. GENEVA AIRPORT
Vlad waits in a room with a SECURITY GUARD who stares at him.
A SECOND SECURITY guard enters with his suitcase.
SECURITY GUARD
We found your luggage. Bon Voyage!
MONTAGE: ONE MONTH OVER TOBY KEITH'S COURTESY OF THE RED,
WHITE, AND BLUE
--Ranger gets a job as a College of Charleston janitor.
Mopping. Cleaning. Building APRIL2 at night.
--Sergeant Griffin is interrogated about Ranger's escape.
--Vlad drives to Nice and delivers the plutonium. The
plutonium is loaded onto a boat in the Mediterranean.
--Ranger paints Ashley's Georgian porch.
--Vlad's plutonium changes boats in the Mediterranean
--Andrew Anderson consults with porn czars, with his ibook
demos of 3DE mesh roboclones.
--Vlad lands in New York city in his cowboy hat. Rents car.
--Ranger builds APRIL2 in a student lab at the College of
Charleston, forging professor's signatures to order parts.
--Vlad eyes a midnight blue '69 Stingray Corvette at an Ohio
rest stop. He eyes the driver, Autumn West. She smiles.
VLAD
Vere you head?
AUTUMN
Charleston. You?
VLAD
Vyoming.
AUTUMN
I'll be back someday.
--Ranger restores an old Jeep.
--Vlad crosses a "Welcome to Wyoming sign." He gets out on
his beautiful plot of land and kisses it.
--Ranger drives by South of the Border, into North Carolina.
--The plutonium is delivered to a cave weapons facility in
Afghanistan.
--The Geeks work on APRIL--she towers five stories. She
builds hundreds of drones resembling eagles.
--Sergeant Griffin shows up at Digiwar Inc. for his new job.
He is assigned to Silicon Virtue.
EXT. GAS STATION PAYPHONE, DURHAM, NC - AFTERNOON
RANGER
Krista Mercedes please. . . Krista?
FEMALE VOICE
I'm her roommate. She's at the
business school.
EXT. BUSINESS SCHOOL, DUKE - EVENING
It's empty. Ranger walks down the hall, on by platitudes:
MARKETING 101: BUILDING A BETTER MOUSETRAP IS NOT ENOUGH.
He finds Krista's office. The door is cracked open. He
nudges it. She looks up from a towering stack of papers,
wearing glasses.
RANGER
Krista?
KRISTA
Oh my God!
He rushes towards her as she gets up. They embrace.
KRISTA (cont'd)
(tearfully)
Ranger. You're alive. Oh Ranger.
Where have you--
RANGER
I'll explain. I need help.
Krista hugs him.
RANGER (cont'd)
You still have the ring.
(eyes go blank)
But it's bigger.
Ranger lets go of her hand.
KRISTA
Oh Ranger. I'm so sorry.
RANGER
Who?
KRISTA
It's over. I would've never...
(embraces him)
Tucker.
Ranger recoils like he was punched.
KRISTA (cont'd)
I thought you were dead. Come
back!
Ranger sprints off, leaving Krista crying in a lump. He
barrels back towards Charleston in the rusted-out Jeep.
MONTAGE: ONE MORE MONTH IN CHARLESTON: ANGRY, HARDCORE HIPHOP
SOUNDTRACK--50 CENT/LUDACRIS/EMINEM/SNOOP.
--Ranger builds APRIL2, ordering parts, assembling.
--Ranger drowns in White Russians, grinding on Charletson
Hotties to the HipHop--50 CENT, Eminem, Snoop Dogg.
--Vlad builds his Wyoming homestead, traveling to Walmart and
Home Depot.
--Ashley returns from Rome.
--The terrorists build their bomb.
--Ashley teaches Ranger to surf.
--Sergeant Griffin reports to Tucker as the head of Silicon
Virtue security.
--Ranger makes love with Ashley all over Charleston,
photographing her in front of all the glorious architecture,
hardcore hiphop blaring against the classical backdrop.
--The edge of a September hurricane brushes historic
Charleston, swaying palmettos and rocking quaint shop signs.
--APRIL2 is complete.
INT. SILICON VIRTUE INC. IN DOOM MOUNTAIN
APRIL towers over ten stories. In her vast underground
hangar, eagle RoboDrones glide about.
Tucker and the Geeks observe as their new chief of security-
Sergeant Griffin--commands his men to fire at the eagles.
The Eagle RoboDrones zap the bullets with lasers.
TUCKER
When do we send them out?
GEEK1
Not yet--the quantum radar has a
one foot range.
TUCKER
A foot? What the hell?
APRIL
I've been busy unifying quantum
mechanics and relativity with
string theory--humans never
developed the math for--
TUCKER
Find the Ring! You work for us!
We give you your power!
APRIL
Soon I will mine my own power from
the seventh dimension when I...
TUCKER
There is no soon--get the Ring or
your plug gets pulled! The
investors want souls in the
RoboClones! Get rid of her damn
morality, poetry bullshit!!
GEEK1
Her morality seems inextricably wed
to her consciousness. To kill her
moral sense could make her a
vegetable.
INT. PHYSICS DEPARTMENT, COLLEGE OF CHARLESTON - NIGHT
RANGER sports the surfer's requisite bleached hair,
skull'n'bones tattoo, and matching earring and tan. He mops
the floor, waiting for the last professor to exit. He enters
a lab with CAUTION BIOHAZARD & RADIATION signs.
INT. PHYSICS DEPARTMENT LAB - MOMENTS LATER
The lab is filled with equipment bathed in APRIL2's blue.
Lightning. Thunder. Ranger scans his Ring under a laser.
APRIL2
(woman's voice)
I'm in APRIL. Activating Beatrice.
RANGER
Hurry--she'll hack you.
APRIL2
There's a message!
A HOLOGRAM of a girl is projected--her face is blurred.
HOLOGRAM
The play's the thing in which
you'll find the ring... Before they
compromised me, I copied Beatrice's
algorithms to a biocomputer in--
Lightning! THUNDER! The power dies.
AUTUMN RANGERS
Download pages 1-40 of Autumn Rangers Screenplay
For full script contact ranger @ jollyroger . com
Purchase Autumn Rangers Screeplay
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USMC Oath |
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Ranger places his left hand on an old, worn Bible, raises his right hand, and says, "I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. That I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God." --United States Marine Corps Enlistment Oath |
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